Good Morning..Friends and neighbors.....
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A nice big, I mean big Dog......I couldn't feed him......
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She said she's gonna get that critter......
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Yep, you sure do......
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What can you say??
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They did fail.....
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"sea toad" anglerfish .....
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Oppps....missed the turn....did you??? thats gotta hurt.....
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Fruit bowl is comfie is it?
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Well time for me to vacuum....see you later..
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♥♥♥
~~ Two union men debated whether or not they should go to the union meeting.
One said, "We have to go. We must show these capitalist pigs that we are united in our
struggle to attain a living wage that will reflect the dignity of labor."
The other union man said, "You're right.
We should go.
But we'll have to take your Jaguar.
My Mercedes is in the shop!"
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~~ Gus returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger
and heavier than he.
On the way to the cleaning shed, Gus ran into a second
fisherman who had a string of a dozen baby minnows.
The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to Gus
and asked, "Only caught the one, eh?"
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~~ Bobbie: I'd like a triple vanilla ice cream sundae with
chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream, topped off with a slice of
cucumber.
Waiter: Did I hear you right?
Did you say top it off with a slice of cucumber?
Bobbie: Good heavens, you're right!
forget the cucumber – I'm on a diet.
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~~ A young blond girl goes to the doctor for a physical.
The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says,
'Big breaths...'
The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'
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~~ TOP FIVE WAYS TO REACT TO AN UNWANTED GIFT:
5. Well, well, well...
4. This certainly is a surprise.
3. It is beyond my wildest dreams.
2. I really don't deserve this.
1. You shouldn't have!
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~~ News Alert:
Recently we received credible intelligence that there have been
six suspected terrorists working out of your office.
Five of the six have been apprehended:
Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin
have been taken into custody.
At this time, no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member,
Bin Workin, has been found at your office.
We are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin
will be very easy to spot.
You are obviously not a suspect at this time.
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~~ "The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I
didn't have to clean." ~Erma Bombeck~
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~~ The Son says to his Mother,
"Dad said he thinks Santa Claus is more of a beer-and-pretzels kinda guy."
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~~ The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.
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~~ At my Doctor's this morning....
She told me she needed to get some samples...blood,
urine and fecal...I left her my underwear.
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~~ A representative for a major-appliance company,
called on one of his accounts.
A couple in the store was interested in a refrigerator and
approached him for information.
He offered his assistance and pitched the product.
Soon after, Herman left and made a stop at another appliance
store nearby.
In a half-hour, the same husband and wife walked in for
comparison shopping.
The salespeople were busy, so my husband answered the
couple's questions.
When he finished, the wife said, "You know,
there's a salesman across the street who looks just like you."
"That's my twin," Herman quipped.
"Well," she replied, "when we're ready to buy,
we're coming back to see you.
We like you a lot better than your brother."
.
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Todays thought: The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right
to pursue happiness...... You have to catch it yourself.
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