Everything is covered with 1/4 inch ice.....
Hope you've had a great Holiday......
She looks comfortable, Cat Fruit bowl??
Watch out Guy.......
Job title...? you think he knows?
Oh no, Ralph...Is that you??
He feels bad for Ralph.......
No vandals, but Ralph was here awhile ago....
Maybe this is what fried Ralph.......
Them hunters shot Ralph, and cooked him..so watch out!!
Thats gotta hurt...
Well, if I can get these boogers off,, I'll be on my way...
~~ Y'know the worst thing about that couple who got into the White House without any credentials?They'll be there for another 3 years!!
~~ A chief executive of a major company was scheduled to
address an important convention,
so he asked the press officer to write him a punchy,
But when the chief executive returned from the convention,
he was furious.
"What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech."
he raged at the press officer.
"Most of the audience walked out before I was even halfway
The press officer was mystified.
"I wrote you a twenty-minute speech," he said.
"I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."
~~ "A new study shows that California has the dirtiest tap water
in the country.
California officials insist that the dirty water is fine as long as you
chew it thoroughly." -Conan O'Brien
~~ During a 2009 case in municipal court in Middletown,
Ohio, a lawyer asked the judge to be excused from representing
The judge scanned the courtroom, looking for a suitable
But before he could find one, the defendant stood up and said,
"That's all right, Judge.
I won't be needing another lawyer.
I've decided to tell the truth."
~~ "Nice dog. What's its name?"
I asked my friend's 10-year old son.
"Bob," he said.
"And what's your cat's name?"
"Well, how do you keep them straight?" I asked.
"Well, one is Bob Cat and the other is Bob Barker,"
the boy answered.
"Go ahead and tell him your rabbit's name," his father suggested.
The kid smiled and said... "Dennis Hopper."
~~ The angry wife met her husband at the door.
There was alcohol on His breath and lipstick on His collar.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for
you to come waltzing in here at six o`clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
~~ A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the
newscaster says 6 Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving,
and,there is that risk involved.'
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says,
'How many is a Brazilian?'
~~ The most important thing a man can do for his children is
to love their mother.
~~ From this week's church bulletin:
"Coming up—Theological Open House.
We discuss thought-provoking topics.
Your opinions are hardly welcome."
~~Cradling her newborn, Tiffany told her four-year-old daughter
Delaney, "We have to wash our hands before we hold the baby."
Delaney said, "But my hands are clean.
Look." Tiffany explained, "Everyone has germs on their hands.
We just can't see the germs."
When the neighbor came over and asked to hold the baby,
Delaney piped up, "You can't hold our baby 'cuz Mommy says
Todays Thought: At the age of twenty, we don't care what the world thinks of us;
at thirty, we worry what it's thinking of us;
at forty, we discover it wasn't thinking of us at all.