Good Morning...Friends, Having a great weekend??
Were having spring weather today...(just a teaser)
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Just to let you know, I don't like spiders...
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Santa was Busted by the stormtroopers today at the mall...
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Noe, their getting ready to hit the kettles......
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Colin Powell does Michael Jackson...... ( It's not the same)
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Wanna do some boxing? These are cool gloves...
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Advise; Don't try to out run this guy......
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I'd like to have one of these trees in my yard....
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"Witchy" I want a piece of this fine lookin cake....
But....I bet it's all gone.... A day late and a dollar short...that's me....
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Ouch...................
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Well, I off again......
See you Later........
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♥♥♥
~~ A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern furiously
pounding shots of whisky.
His friend happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing?
I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you
take a drink before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass,
the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes,
smiles and then slurs, "Not anymore... He is!".
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~~ Our local hockey team wasn't doing too well.
During one game, none of the players had even taken a shot at
the goal.
Finally, one of them got the puck and voice from the stands
yelled, "Shoot it! The wind's with you!"
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~~ There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in
a bar.
Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL"
and farts loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at
the drunk and says, "Excuse me, you just farted before my wife."
The drunks replies, " I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."
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~~When they take out your appendix,
they call it an appendectomy.
When they take out your tonsils, they call it a tonsillectomy.
What do they call it when they remove a growth from your head?
A haircut.
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~~ When questioned about the chief qualification for a politician,
Winston Churchill answered:
"It's the ability to foretell what will happen tomorrow, next month,
and next year and to explain afterward why it didn't happen."
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~~ A famous pessimist is said to carry a card in his wallet that
reads, "In case of an accident, I'm not surprised."
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~~ On a trip to see Santa, a young girl climbed onto Saint Nick's
lap and shared her wish list.
Later that day, in another store, she saw Santa again and once
more was asked what she wanted.
The girl shook her head and said, "You really need to write this
stuff down."
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~~ They aren't making mirrors the way they used to.
The ones I buy now are full of wrinkles.
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~~ When my mother began teaching, she was known as
Miss Smeed to her Grade 1 students, or so she thought.
She found out differently when she met one of the dads the
following January.
"I'm so glad to meet you," he said warmly.
"Do you know it was Christmas before I found out your name
wasn't Mincemeat?"
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~~ I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger,
and then it hit me.
.
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Todays thought: Whoever follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd.
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