Monday, November 30, 2009

 Good Morning Friends.... Well this is the last day of great weather.
Gonna get colder and wetter.....

This mornings moving in..

Carol's latest oil painting.... She's got talent....
Great picture!!

I need my toe nails think they would do that?
I get tired of wearing open toed shoes......

Books for tall people??

Party time?? Happy New Year??

Are you crazy??

Good Place to nap.....makes the birds mad though....

Thats right....Boneless Chicken Dinner....

Let me out.....I don't wanna ride....

Well, the police are after me, so I gotta go....
~~ QUESTION: Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in tide?

ANSWER: Because it's too cold out tide!

~~ QUESTION: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his
ANSWER: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

~~ On a nighttime visit to his brother's base, my son Joe was
impressed by the large airplane hangar in which Billy worked.
But when Billy led him through another door, Joe was absolutely
astounded by the massive, darkened room.
"This is the largest building I've ever been in!" he said.
"What do you call it?"
His brother answered, "The outside."

~~ My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me
he'd drunk more than usual the day before.
"What's more than usual?" I asked.
"A case."
"You can drink a case in a day?!"
"Well," he grumbled defensively, "it doesn't take all day."

~~ A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law
in the backseat.
The women don't leave him alone.
His mother-in- law says, "You're driving too fast!"
His wife says, "Stay more to the left."
After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks,
"Who's driving this car, you or your mother?"

~~ One Mother's Day at church, I noticed carts of little potted
flowers beside the altar.
The pastor asked all the children to come forward and pick out
a plant for their mother.
My children and I had certainly survived some very hard times,
and this special bit of appreciation was just what I needed.
I was surprised when my children presented me with a small,
bedraggled flower plant.
Yet I saw joy and pride in their eyes, and asked them,
out of all those beautiful flowers, what had made them pick
this plant for me?
My son said, "This one looked like it needed you, Mom."

~~ Two men lost their long-time drinking buddy to alcoholism.
At the funeral, as they passed by the open casket,
one remarked to the other,
"Gee, Sam sure looks good, doesn't he?"
The other replied, "Well, he ought to;
he hasn't had a drink in 3 days."

~~ The Vacation Bible School theme for the day was
"God's All-Star Champions," so they had sports-related activities.
To get in the sports spirit, and since Denver has several
professional sports teams, the minister asked,
"What is the name of the place where the
Colorado Avalanche play hockey?"
One of the children answered, "Pepsi Center."
"And where do the Denver Broncos play?"
"Invesco Field at Mile High."
"And where do the Colorado Rockies play?"
"Coors Field."
"And finally, where do the Nuggets play?"

~~ Danielle's six-year-old daughter Brooke attended a birthday
party for her friend Emily and nearly died from embarrassment.
As the birthday girl opened Brooke's gift, which was a Barbie doll,
Emily exclaimed, "Thanks. I've always wanted this."
"That's good," said Brooke, "Because I didn't,
so my mom wrapped it up for you."

~~ Laura was away from home on Thanksgiving Day for the
first time and she was missing her home and family desperately.
Laura decided to cook a turkey herself, just like her Mom used to,
so that she could feel closer to her family.
Laura returned home for the celebrations and recounted her
experience to her Mom saying,
"Mom. it was so difficult to eat the turkey."
"Why was that, dear" asked Mom in a concerned way,
"was it not cooked properly?"
"How would I know?" responded Laura, "it wouldn't sit still."
Todays Thought: There are two rules for success:
1) Don't tell all you know.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Good Morning...Friends, Having a great weekend??
Were having spring weather today...(just a teaser)

Just to let you know, I don't like spiders...

Santa was Busted by the stormtroopers today at the mall...

Noe, their getting ready to hit the kettles......

Colin Powell does Michael Jackson...... ( It's not the same)

Wanna do some boxing?   These are cool gloves...

Advise; Don't try to out run this guy......

I'd like to have one of these trees in my yard....

"Witchy" I want a piece of this fine lookin cake....
But....I bet it's all gone.... A day late and a dollar short...that's me....


Well, I off again......
See you Later........
~~ A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern furiously

pounding shots of whisky.
His friend happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing?
I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you
take a drink before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass,
the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes,
smiles and then slurs, "Not anymore... He is!".

~~ Our local hockey team wasn't doing too well.
During one game, none of the players had even taken a shot at
the goal.
Finally, one of them got the puck and voice from the stands
yelled, "Shoot it! The wind's with you!"

~~ There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in
a bar.
Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL"
and farts loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at
the drunk and says, "Excuse me, you just farted before my wife."
The drunks replies, " I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."

~~When they take out your appendix,
they call it an appendectomy.
When they take out your tonsils, they call it a tonsillectomy.
What do they call it when they remove a growth from your head?
A haircut.

~~ When questioned about the chief qualification for a politician,
Winston Churchill answered:
"It's the ability to foretell what will happen tomorrow, next month,
and next year and to explain afterward why it didn't happen."

~~ A famous pessimist is said to carry a card in his wallet that
reads, "In case of an accident, I'm not surprised."

~~ On a trip to see Santa, a young girl climbed onto Saint Nick's
lap and shared her wish list.
Later that day, in another store, she saw Santa again and once
more was asked what she wanted.
The girl shook her head and said, "You really need to write this
stuff down."

~~ They aren't making mirrors the way they used to.
The ones I buy now are full of wrinkles.

~~ When my mother began teaching, she was known as
Miss Smeed to her Grade 1 students, or so she thought.
She found out differently when she met one of the dads the
following January.
"I'm so glad to meet you," he said warmly.
"Do you know it was Christmas before I found out your name
wasn't Mincemeat?"

~~ I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger,
and then it hit me.
Todays thought:  Whoever follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd.


Saturday, November 28, 2009

Good Morning..Well, friends..The turkeys more leftovers..

If you don't like e blog...I'll get my Lawyer after you...

Yes, sir....What can I get you??

Gotta trim the hedges...gettin too tall....

A sea cucumber, weird cucumber..I no eat!


Wack um good.....

I would do anything for a orange drink.....

Who Knew Missile Defense Could Be So Pretty?

Oh Oh Micky is coming after me.....

Well, If I can find my way...I'm outta here.......
~~ An important politician was seen moving around with a film

actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to
plunge into matrimony.
But being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of
looking into her past and finding out if she had any previous
affairs with any men.
After a few days, the politician at last received his detective's
report, which went like this: "Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation.
Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very
respectable background.
No one has anything against her character.
But yes, according to my sources, for the last couple of months
she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious

~~ A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' station saying:
"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are
the most dangerous."
Underneath, a nurse had written:  "The last five are pretty risky, too....".


~~ Pete went to see his Doctor....
Doctor to Pete: I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that you're not a hypochondriac.

~~ Bobbie said; Talk about getting old.
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window,
took one look and pulled down the shade!

~~ Sam was born to be a pessimist.
His blood type is B Negative......

~~ Pete: Is this a good lake for fish?
Gus: It must be terrific.......
I can't get any of them to come out.

~~ "This house," said the real estate salesman,
"has both its good points and its bad points.
To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both.
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block
south and a slaughterhouse a block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind
is blowing."

~~ After hearing a description of my automobile's problems,
the mechanic said, "Offhand, I'd say it's going to cost you plenty.
Of course, that's only an estimate."

~~ A mother found her young son sitting quietly in front of their
brand-new living-room clock.
He said that he was waiting for his grandpa.
She asked him why and he said, "If cuckoos come out of cuckoo
clocks, then grandfathers must come out of grandfather clocks!"

~~ "My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria.
He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working.".

~~ "Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence."
--Erma Bombeck

~~ Buck came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new Jeep.
"I believe you gave me a guarantee with my Jeep," he said.
"That’s right, sir," the salesman answered.
"During the warranty period we will replace anything that breaks."
"Fine, I need a new garage door."
Todays Thought:  We often see further through a tear, than through a telescope.

Friday, November 27, 2009

 Good Morning..Friends and Readers.....Have a great Thanksgiving??
I did, but missed a Special Lady "Friend".....

The Sun rise this morning...looks to be a good day, but chilly.

Just riding around yesterday.....

Looks like someone else is riding around also......

Now..I wouldn't like this would take 2 rolls to clean me up!

What can I say....I'll stick with my Ranger.....

Now, I can relate to that......

She got stopped by the Jungle patrol, and searched......

Damn....and that was a good one too.....

Poor ENO.....
~~ My children delighted in exploring the creek a short distance

from our camp site.
One day Rhonda found a particularly vocal frog, and enjoyed
showing it off to everyone.
As dinnertime approached, I told the kids to put the frogs back
and wash for the meal.
Rhonda put hers in the creek and was upset when it didn’t move.
“Mommy, my frog’s dead!” she cried.
I yelled back to her that she should check if it still “talked.”
She picked the frog up, held it to her ear and answered, “Yes.”
My unthinking response was, “Well, if he croaks, he’s alive!”

~~ An old couple who had been married for fifty years decided
to take a second honeymoon.
They went to the same town, rented the same room,
ate in the same restaurant and then got ready for bed.
The husband noticed that his wife took a pill one hour before bed.
When he asked why she did so his wife replied that it was to
make her feel younger.
The husband greedily swallowed the rest of the pills.
In the morning, the wife noticed that her husband was not in the
She went to the lobby and then out in the street,
where she found him sitting on the pavement.
When she asked what he was doing, he replied,
"Waiting for the school bus."

~~ Gus: How did you like camp as a whole, Pete?
Pete: As a hole it was all right, but as a camp it was terrible.

~~ Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City.
So the headmaster, a friend of mine, asked a health inspector to
deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing
how to remedy the situation, i.e., stow trash, no food in class, etc.
The following day, a teacher had her very young children write a
letter to the inspector, thanking him for the visit.
One of the students wrote, "Dear Mr. Johnson, Thank you for
coming to my school.
Until I saw you, I didn't know what a rat looked like."

~~ My ten-year-old grandson Daniel wiped the sweat from his
face while taking a quick break from his soccer game.
The coach ordered him back on the field.
"I'm so tired," Daniel moaned.
"You're too young to be that tired," the coach countered.
"Well," Daniel persisted, "I'm 63 in dog years."

~~ At dinnertime, our three-year-old daughter, Ree, was
refusing to eat her carrots.
She looked at her daddy strangely when he told her that carrots
make you see better in the dark.
Ree picked up a carrot and started to press it.
"No, they don't," she said.
"That's what a flashlight is for..... See, this doesn't light up."

~~ Patti's six-year-old daughter Taryn stood in front of the
bathroom mirror looking at herself.
Her parents always told her how much she looked like them.
"You have Daddy's eyes," Patti said.
Taryn removed her shirt, pointed to her chest and said,
"And I have Daddy's boobs."

~~ What would you get if you crossed Jessee James and
Count Dracula?
A robbery at the blood bank.

~~ Julia was downcast as she told her secret to her father.
She was pregnant by Mr. Williams, the bank president.
Her father flew out of the house, ran to the bank, and accosted
Mr. Williams.
"You animal! Beast! No good son of a---
Mr. Williams interrupted him...... "Sir, what is this all about?"
"My daughter Julia is carrying your child."
"There's no need to panic.
I'm honorable. If she has a daughter, I'll settle three hundred
thousand dollars on the baby.
A son will get four hundred thousand."
Julia's father asked, "What if she loses the baby?
Can she have another chance?"

~~ What do you do when you see an endangered animal that
is eating an endangered plant?

Todays Thought: Worry pulls tomorrow's cloud over today's sunshine.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Good Morning Friends....Pete....Don't you eat to much.....
Pete wants to hog all the Turkey.......


She got a look at the big bird cookin.....

This one ate too much..........

Thats not a bird....Guys......

cat likes corn??

I'm keeping my mouth closed....

Hey!...Loopyloo your feet stinks......

He's a cool dude.......he thinks!

Eno, Bobbin again??

Our table is set now; great food you can bet now.
It’s Thanksgiving Day, and we’re ready to eat;
All those near and dear to us are here today to cheer us.
This dinner is a winner, a wonderful treat.
It’s time to be thankful for all that God gives us;
Dear Lord, we are grateful; Dear God, hear our prayer.
It’s You we are praising; our voices we are raising;
Bless us and bless this food; keep us safe in your care.

~~ QUESTION: If the Pilgrims were alive today,
what would they be most famous for?

~~ Asked to write a composition entitled,
"What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Sara wrote,
"I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

~~ "An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on
Thanksgiving Day."

~~ Don't assume you're always going to be understood.
I wrote in a column that one should put a cup of liquid in the
cavity of a turkey when roasting it.
Someone wrote me that:
'The turkey tasted great, but the plastic cup melted.'" (Heloise)

~~ If you're given the choice between money and sex appeal,
take the money.
As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.

~~ A businessman whose duties entailed frequent traveling
by air was telling his mother about his Concorde flight from
London to New York, which had taken only about three hours.
"For that much money," his mother said,
"they should have let you ride a little longer."

~~ Two chubby duffers, ordered to play golf by their physicians,
managed to get to the first tee.
One duffer said, "I don't have the energy to play too long."
The other one said, "Okay. We'll quit as soon as either one of us
gets a hole in one!"

~~ Q: Why did the grown-up cows worry about the little cow?
A: Because it was so mood-dy.

~~ A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that
read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he
"What´s your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly.
"Baked tongue of chicken?
Do you have ANY idea how disgusting that is?
I would never even consider eating anything that came out of
a chicken´s mouth!" the man fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked,
"Well, what would you like then, sir?"
The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."

~~ PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dog!
DOCTOR: .....Sit!
Todays Thought:  If God didn’t forgive Heaven would be empty.