Friday, September 25, 2009

Good Morning.....Friends..A nice rainy day....
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An't he cute.......
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You know that cars been here along time....
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Sleepy ......?
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I don't think so........
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Banana art.....
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For Sale...like new....few scratches....
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All fixed.......good job ?
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Wonder were the seeing eye dog is??
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♥♥♥

~~ It's forty below zero one winter night in Alaska.

Pat is drinking at his local saloon, and the bartender says to him,
"You owe me quite a bit on your tab."
"Sorry," says Pat, "I'm flat broke this week."
"That's okay," says the bartender.
"I'll just write your name and the amount you owe me right
here on the wall."
"But," says Pat, "I don't want any of my friends to see that."
"They won't," says the bartender.
"I'll just hang your parka over it until it's paid.".

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~~ One night in Paris, an American tourist dropped into a
sidewalk cafe late one night and, after a couple of drinks,
realised he was the last person in the bar except for a
chap sleeping at one of the tables.
The man called the proprietor over and asked for his bill.
"Would monsieur care for another drink?" asked the Frenchman.
"No thanks, I imagine you want to close up.
Why don't you send that other fellow home?"
"Well, I should," said the other.
Then, with Gallic logic, he added,
"But each time I wake him up he asks for the bill and ...
pays it again.".

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~~ By the time a woman realizes her mother was right,
she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

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~~ A few days before my son was to start kindergarten,
he declared he did not intend to go to school.
"You're very lucky to have been born in a country where
the government guarantees each child an education,"
I told him.
"This way everyone grows smart and invents things to
make life better."
I assumed I had made my point, until the next day.
"Dad," he asked nervously.
"If everyone in the country is smart,
and just one person is stupid, will it make a big difference?"

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~~ They used to say a recession is when your neighbor
lost his job, and a depression is when you lost yours,
but now they say a recession is when Wall Street gets
bailed out, and a depression is what you get thinking about it.

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~~ "Hi, sweetheart," Bobbie said to her six-year-old niece,
Allison, when she phoned. "What's new?"
"Well, Aunt Bobbie, you know those chocolate chip cookies
you made us?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied. "Is anything wrong with them?"
"Well, er, kind of."
"What? Didn't I put in enough chocolate chips?"
"Well, uh, it's not that," she stammered.
"Allison, what's wrong?"
"Well, I just thought you'd like to know...
I'm eating the last one."

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~~ Sue was six months pregnant when the bank where
she worked acquired the property next door and began
renovations to the building.
Management supplied T-shirts for them to wear at work
so their clothes wouldn't get dusty.
After seeing them, however, she was less than enthusiastic.
Bold letters across the front stated:
“Expanding to serve you better.”

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~~ Dinosaurs are fascinating.
My four-year-old is obsessed with them.
Recently we were riding on a bus, and he asked another
passenger for her name.
"My name is Deena," she said. "Can you say Deena?"
"Deena," said my son.......
"Can you say pachycephalosaurus?"

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~~ My mother and grandmother often told me to eat the
crusts from my bread if I wanted curly hair.
I recently passed this piece of wisdom on to my five-year-old
granddaughter.
"It's okay, Grandma," Susan replied.
"Mom uses the curling iron."

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~~ Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his
second wife to his success.

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~~ Substituting in a kindergarten class,
I introduced myself and invited the children to help me
learn their routines and rules.
They spent the day filling me in on every little detail.
The next day, I taught the same class.
As I greeted the students at the classroom door that
morning, one of the little girls stopped short,
put her hand on her hip and looked me square in the face.
"I sure hope," she said,
"you didn't forget everything we taught you yesterday!"
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Todays Thought: "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be
sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."- Henny Youngman...
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