Gotta have that Barbie.......
See what ya get??.........
Breakfast this morning?? I had a burrito........
~~~ Bobbie wrote a practical beauty book.
For a morning facial, for instance, she recommends picking up a large, fluffy towel and draping it firmly over the mirror.
~~~ Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7:00 p.m.
Please use the back door.
~~~ My diminutive aunt Flora, just four feet, nine inches tall, accepted an offer to visit a health club for a free session.
After being greeted heartily, she was shown where she could change and told an instructor would soon be with her.
Having changed her clothes, aunt Flora went back to the exercise area.
Along one wall she noticed a silver bar that was not in use, and decided to try her hand at chin-ups while she waited.
She jumped up, barely reaching the bar, and managed to strain through two chin-ups before the instructor came to her side.
Smiling politely, the instructor said, "If you want to let go of the coat rack and follow me, I'll be glad to help you get started."
~~~ Pete is dieting.
He says weight gain is due to water retention.
My weight gain is due to ice cream retention.
~~~ Birdie, birdie in the sky,Dropped some white stuff in my eye,I'm a big guy I won't cry,I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
~~~ During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it.
Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response.
“You there,” the sergeant shouts, “the imaginary enemy is advancing, and your are caught in the crossfire..... Action!”
The recruit takes ten steps to one side.
“What are you doing, man?” Yells the sergeant, purple with fury.
“I’m taking shelter behind an imaginary hill, Sergeant,” answers the recruit calmly.
~~~ Two salesmen are at another salesman's funeral.
One says to the other, "What did he have?"
The other salesman says, "California, Oregon and Washington".
~~~ Members were dressed up at my mother's music-club costume party to represent a song title.
Guesses were then submitted as to the title of the song portrayed.
One lady arrived dressed in maternity clothes, with a large pillow secured in front.
After many incorrect guesses, she finally announced her song title: "It Ain't Necessarily So."
~~~ Steve, my accountant husband, and I both suffer from occasional bouts of insomnia.
One night I suggested we try a technique I'd read about, which was to encourage relaxation. Laying with our eyes closed, I described a relaxing scene: "We're in a beautiful, oceanside bungalow on a tropical island.
A gentle breeze is coming through the French doors that lead to our private ocean path."
A quiet voice startled me from my peaceful place; "How much is this vacation costing us?" Steve asked.
~~~ The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long and difficult labor.
But it was definitely worth it when our beautiful little girl emerged, perfect in every way.
Later, in my room, my husband looked at her tenderly, with tears in his eyes.
Then as he glanced up at me, I expected him to utter something truly poetic.
Instead he asked, "What's her name again?"
~~~ One day I tried to reach my dad, a real charmer with the ladies, at his tennis club.
I gave a description of him to the receptionist, but she didn't recognize him.
Then I gave her his name, but she didn't know him.
I gave it one more try: "He's probably told you that you're the most beautiful woman in Orlando.
"She laughed and said, "I'll go get him."
Todays Thought: I'm not aging... I'm just ripening to perfection....