Thursday, December 31, 2009

Good Morning....Friends....Freezing rain this morning.....
Everything is covered with 1/4 inch ice.....

Hope you've had a great Holiday......

She looks comfortable,  Cat Fruit bowl??

Watch out Guy.......

Job title...? you think he knows?

Oh no, Ralph...Is that you??

He feels bad for Ralph.......

No vandals, but Ralph was here awhile ago....

Maybe this is what fried Ralph.......

Them hunters shot Ralph, and cooked watch out!!

Thats gotta hurt...

Well, if I can get these boogers off,, I'll be on my way...

~~ Y'know the worst thing about that couple who got into the White House without any credentials?
They'll be there for another 3 years!!

~~ A chief executive of a major company was scheduled to
address an important convention,
so he asked the press officer to write him a punchy,
twenty-minute speech.
But when the chief executive returned from the convention,
he was furious.
"What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech."
he raged at the press officer.
"Most of the audience walked out before I was even halfway
The press officer was mystified.
"I wrote you a twenty-minute speech," he said.
"I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."

~~ "A new study shows that California has the dirtiest tap water
in the country.
California officials insist that the dirty water is fine as long as you
chew it thoroughly." -Conan O'Brien

~~ During a 2009 case in municipal court in Middletown,
Ohio, a lawyer asked the judge to be excused from representing
his client.
The judge scanned the courtroom, looking for a suitable
But before he could find one, the defendant stood up and said,
"That's all right, Judge.
I won't be needing another lawyer.
I've decided to tell the truth."

~~ "Nice dog. What's its name?"
I asked my friend's 10-year old son.
"Bob," he said.
"And what's your cat's name?"
"Well, how do you keep them straight?" I asked.
"Well, one is Bob Cat and the other is Bob Barker,"
the boy answered.
"Go ahead and tell him your rabbit's name," his father suggested.
The kid smiled and said... "Dennis Hopper."

~~ The angry wife met her husband at the door.
There was alcohol on His breath and lipstick on His collar.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for
you to come waltzing in here at six o`clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

~~ A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the
newscaster says 6 Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing
'That's horrible!'
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving,
and,there is that risk involved.'
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says,
'How many is a Brazilian?'

~~ The most important thing a man can do for his children is
to love their mother.

~~ From this week's church bulletin:
"Coming up—Theological Open House.
We discuss thought-provoking topics.
Your opinions are hardly welcome."

~~Cradling her newborn, Tiffany told her four-year-old daughter
Delaney, "We have to wash our hands before we hold the baby."
Delaney said, "But my hands are clean.
Look." Tiffany explained, "Everyone has germs on their hands.
We just can't see the germs."
When the neighbor came over and asked to hold the baby,
Delaney piped up, "You can't hold our baby 'cuz Mommy says
you're dirty."
Todays Thought:  At the age of twenty, we don't care what the world thinks of us;

at thirty, we worry what it's thinking of us;
at forty, we discover it wasn't thinking of us at all.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Good morning friends and readers....
Having a great day?......

A pretty chilly sunrise....

Give the rabbit a bath.??

Looks like she's scared to me......

Looks like shes greedy.....

Mess up here and you get the bite....

So wrong for many things......

Parking for aliens.....

Watch out!! mad seal behind you !!

What can you say......

Wee, If I can get my car to back up,
I'll leave....

~~ To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch

to lower-fat foods; including skim milk.
When she said her family would only drink whole milk,
I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it
with skim milk.
This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked,
one morning, whether the milk was okay.
"Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found
out........ "Why do you ask?"
"Because according to the container," the daughter explained,
"this milk expired two years ago."

~~ "Billy, did you take my car out last night?"
"I went for a spin with a couple of the guys."
"Well, tell them I found two of their lipsticks!"

~~ A man and his wife were vacationing on their yacht off the
coast of Australia.
After they had sailed out to sea a few miles, he asked her:
Do you want to go swimming?"
"No, I can't, I have my period."
"Damn!" he moaned.
"You always take the fun out of shark fishing."

~~ Experts agree that the best type of computer for your
individual needs is the one that comes on the market about two
days after you actually purchase some other computer.

~~ Men are obsessed with money,
women are obsessed with weight.
The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss, and I do not
know which talk is the more boring.

~~ Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all
over town.
When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address,
he was told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."
The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am,
I'll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope."

~~ In honor of British humorist P. G. Wodehouse's 128th birthday,
a few choice quips from his books:
"He looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had
forgotten to say 'when.' "
"Golf, like measles, should be caught young."
"She had a penetrating sort of laugh.
Rather like a train going into a tunnel."
"You look white and shaken, like a dry martini."

~~ As a coach load of tourists on a visit to England drove
through Wiltshire, the guide was busily pointing out places of
When they approached Stonehenge, the guide announced:
"This is Stonehenge, a megalithic monument dating from about
2,800 BC.
It consisted originally of thirty upright stones, their tops linked by
lintel stones to form a continuous circle about a hundred feet
The uprights were built from local sandstone, and each stone
weighs around twenty-six tons."
At the back of the coach one tourist turned to his wife and said:
"Pretty impressive, huh?"
"Yes" she agreed.
"But wouldn't you think they'd have built it further back from
the main road?"

~~ After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced
I wanted to date again, but had no idea of how to start,
so I decided to look in the personals column of the local
After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed
possible in terms of age and interests, but I put off calling them.
Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine
from my ex-wife:
"I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw
the ads you circled in the paper.
Don't call the one in the second column..... It's me."

~~ Q: Who’s the patron saint of e-mail?
A: St. Francis of a CC.
Todays Thought:  The superior man seeks what is right;

the inferior one, what is profitable. - Confucius - 

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Good Morning..Friends and neighbors.....

A nice big, I mean big Dog......I couldn't feed him......

She said she's gonna get that critter......

Yep, you sure do......

What can you say??

They did fail.....

"sea toad" anglerfish .....

Oppps....missed the turn....did you??? thats gotta hurt.....

Fruit bowl is comfie is it?

Well time for me to vacuum....see you later..

~~ Two union men debated whether or not they should go to the union meeting.
One said, "We have to go.
We must show these capitalist pigs that we are united in our
struggle to attain a living wage that will reflect the dignity of labor."
The other union man said, "You're right.
We should go.
But we'll have to take your Jaguar.
My Mercedes is in the shop!"

~~ Gus returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger
and heavier than he.
On the way to the cleaning shed, Gus ran into a second
fisherman who had a string of a dozen baby minnows.
The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to Gus
and asked, "Only caught the one, eh?"

~~ Bobbie: I'd like a triple vanilla ice cream sundae with
chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream, topped off with a slice of
Waiter: Did I hear you right?
Did you say top it off with a slice of cucumber?
Bobbie: Good heavens, you're right!
 forget the cucumber – I'm on a diet.

~~ A young blond girl goes to the doctor for a physical.
The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says,
'Big breaths...'
The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'

5. Well, well, well...
4. This certainly is a surprise.
3. It is beyond my wildest dreams.
2. I really don't deserve this.
1. You shouldn't have!

~~ News Alert:
Recently we received credible intelligence that there have been
six suspected terrorists working out of your office.
Five of the six have been apprehended:
Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin
have been taken into custody.
At this time, no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member,
Bin Workin, has been found at your office.
We are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin
will be very easy to spot.
You are obviously not a suspect at this time.

~~ "The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I
didn't have to clean." ~Erma Bombeck~

~~ The Son says to his Mother,
"Dad said he thinks Santa Claus is more of a beer-and-pretzels kinda guy."

~~ The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.

~~ At my Doctor's this morning....
She told me she needed to get some samples...blood,
urine and fecal...I left her my underwear.

~~ A representative for a major-appliance company,
called on one of his accounts.
A couple in the store was interested in a refrigerator and
approached him for information.
He offered his assistance and pitched the product.
Soon after, Herman left and made a stop at another appliance
store nearby.
In a half-hour, the same husband and wife walked in for
comparison shopping.
The salespeople were busy, so my husband answered the
couple's questions.
When he finished, the wife said, "You know,
there's a salesman across the street who looks just like you."
"That's my twin," Herman quipped.
"Well," she replied, "when we're ready to buy,
we're coming back to see you.
We like you a lot better than your brother."
Todays thought:  The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right

to pursue happiness...... You have to catch it yourself.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Good Morning...Friends and neighbors....

What are you doing in my box??

You got smokers cough yet??

Cute Kittens....

I just knew they look like this in Washington.....

Looks like he knows it too.....

I love strawberry short cake too....

Makes your room smell great.....

Good Gift for your man....

I don't know about this eyedrops...

Well we're loaded up...time to leave.......

~~ "President Obama says that this year for Christmas his

daughters want an iPod, video games and some books.
But boy — you should have seen the looks on their faces when
he told them instead they're both getting universal health- care."
-Conan O'Brien

~~ A priest was playing golf with several laymen.
On the eighteenth hole, the priest was two feet from the cup.
A tap would make him winner for the day.
He stepped to the ball, studied it, then putted.
The ball ringed the cup and jumped out.
The priest stared for a full minute, his lips forming some famour
four- letter words.
One of the laymen said, "That was the dirtiest silence I ever heard!"

~~ What's the difference between a cow with a sore throat
and an angry crowd?
One moos badly, the other boos madly.

~~ DOCTOR TO Gus: Well, well.
It seems that your weight is perfect.
It just happens that you are 6 feet too short.

~~ Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal
had been photographed from four different angles.
The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the
land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was
The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the
ambitious sheriff of a small Southern town:

~~ FIRST TENDERFOOT: Can you ride a horse?
Couldn't stay on one long enough to find out.

~~ During our church's worship service, the pastor invites all the
young children to join him near the altar for the
"Children's Moments Sermon."
One day, with seven small children in attendance,
he spoke about the ingredients required to make up a church,
using a chocolate-chip cookie as an example.
He explained to the children that, as with a cookie requiring
ingredients such as sugar and eggs, the church needed
ingredients to make up the congregation.
Holding a cookie aloft, he asked, "If I took the chocolate chips
out of this cookie, what would I have?"
A shy six-year-old raised his hand.
"Six less grams of fat," he replied.

~~ MANAGER (to boxer): When I said to show him what you're
made of, I didn't mean to let him knock the stuffing out of you.

~~ The judge looked at the defendant brought before him and
said: "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes, your honor.
I taught your son to play the drums."
"Twenty years!"

~~ CUSTOMER: There's a fly swimming in my soup.
What's he doing there?
WAITER: Looks like the backstroke to me.
Todays Thought:  "If you open your heart, love opens your mind."

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Good Morning....Friends and good readers....
Hope everyone is having a good Holiday....

Our snow just before Christmas....

Need help digging out......

A big snow man....

Standing at nearly 43 inches tall from paw to shoulder and

weighing a staggering 245lbs could this be the world's new tallest

Oh, she tall...
. look mean too......

Have a cold beer, Mr. Grinch...might help!

Words of wisdom?

~~ A husband says to his wife, "what would you do if I won the Lotto?"
She says, "I'd take half, and then leave you."
"Excellent," he replies, "I won 12 bucks, here's 6,
now get the hell out of here!"

~~ Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king
from history,
SPADES - King David;
CLUBS - Alexander the Great;
HEARTS - Charlemagne;
DIAMONDS - Julius Caesar.

~~ think when you eat out you should have a little fun;
it's good for digestion.
Simple things. After the waiter recites a long list of specials,
ask him if they serve cow feet        - George Carlin -

~~ One of the first great horror movies, Psycho,
was notorious for its shower scene, which scared Americans
where they'd never been scared before, in their bathrooms.
One man wrote to the film's director, Alfred Hitchcock,
to complain that his wife would no longer take a shower or bath.
Now what was he to do?"
Hitchcock wrote back: "Sir, have you considered sending your
wife to the dry cleaners?"

~~ Darren remembers accompanying his father out shopping
in the toy department of Wanamakers one Christmas Eve.
Dad said, "What a marvelous train set..... I'll buy it."
The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured,
"Great, I'm sure your son will really love it."
Dad replied with a glint in his eye, "Maybe you're right.
In that case I'll take two."

~~ While I was in the Navy, my ship was bound for Japan.
Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate of mine was busted
one rank, fined and given extra duty for three weeks.
Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22,
he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting:
"They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away
my birthday."
As July 22 approached, his excitement increased.
When he went to bed on July 21, he happily repeated:
"They can bust me, they can fine me --
but they can't take away my birthday."
The next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the
international date line -- and it was July 23!

~~ Q: What did the horse say when it fell down?
A: I can't giddyup!

~~ A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon's
After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150.
The neurosurgeon exclaimed, 'I don't charge this amount even
though I am a surgeon."
The plumber replied, "I agree, you are right.
I too, didn't either, when I was a surgeon.
That's why I switched to plumbing!"

~~ For years, my husband and I had advocated separate
vacations..... But the kids kept finding us. - Erma Bombeck -

~~ After going weeks without a date Marcia confided to her friend,
"The truth is, I'm less concerned these days with what a man
stands for than what he'll fall for."

~~ Talking about the lottery, a friend was telling his wife how he
would spend the money should he win big.
Having listed a new car, home, jewellery, investments,
he concluded, "And honey, you can have any cruise you want."
"Great," she said. "I'll take Tom."
Todays Thought: Money can't buy happiness--but somehow it's more comfortable

to cry in a Porsche than a Kia.