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Hey, ..Want to play ball?...Take your pick.................................
Not me....I'm just hanging around............................................
Nah, I'm studying..................thanks anyway..............................
And I thought I was a Crabby, old man.....................................
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Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job.
The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied.
After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator and realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job!
He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious.
The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
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A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church doors for the last time.
He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out.
She said "Your successor won't be as good as you."
"Nonsense", said the pastor, in a flattered tone.
"No, really", said the old lady, "I've been here under five different ministers and each new one has been worse than the last."
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Shopping one afternoon, I was paged to come to the mall office.
I rushed over and an office clerk said that I was to call home right away.
Fearing the worst, I found a pay phone.
When my teenage daughter answered, I immediately asked what was wrong.
"Everything's fine, Mom," she said.
"But I have a date in an hour and I want to wear the shoes you have on."
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Our daughter signed up for shop class because she thought it meant visiting different malls.
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A chart in my biology text rated different methods of contraception according to how effective studies showed they were.
Everything made sense except for one entry: "Abstinence -- 32% failure."
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We didn't all come over on the same ship, but we're all in the same boat.
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