He knows.......Dogs and cats won't mess with them......
Brewing up a storm............................................
Nowadays there's a pill for everything...to keep your nose from running, to keep you regular, to keep your heart beating, to keep your hair from falling out, to improve your muscle tone...
Why, thanks to advances in medical science, every day people are dying who never looked better.
Psychiatrists say it's not good for a man to keep too much to himself.
The Internal Revenue Service says the same thing.
The passenger aircraft was fully loaded and in the air after takeoff when the announcement came over the loudspeaker:
“Ladies and gentlemen, we've been working on a fully automatic piloting system for years that doesn't need a flight crew and are proud to announce that it has been perfected.
You are the first passengers to fly controlled by software only with nobody in the cockpit.
We are proud that during all our testing there has never been a mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake,...”
Did you hear about that new, liberal Episcopal Church?
It has six commandments and four suggestions.
100 years ago, the average man in the USA only lived to be 47 years old.
No wonder it took so long to invent Viagra.
A man bought a parrot.
It sat in its cage all day saying, "Cracker want a polly.
Cracker want a polly."
The man's friend heard the bird and said, "That bird seems really confused!"
The owner said, "No, his name's Cracker, and he's very lonely."