I was in my backyard the other night looking through my telescope.
My neighbor had just taken out his trash and came over and asked, "Are you looking at the stars?"
I said, "No, I'm have a staring contest with a guy on Mars."
A young guy in a single-engine fighter was flying escort for a B- 52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hot dog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.
The hot dog said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot."
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hot dog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down an engine, kid."
Porsche is working on a hybrid SUV.
A hybrid SUV with the Porsche name.
Perfect for a man in his midlife crisis who is married to a soccer mom.
A Porsche hybrid SUV sounds as marketable as a Hummer moped...
I was glued to the TV.
It looked like the pitcher would throw a no-hitter.
My wife who thinks baseball is boring, wondered why the crowd was so excited.
"It's a perfect game," I told her. Do you know what that is?"
"Yeah," she said, "one that's over."
A woman with a headache went to her medicine cabinet to find a bottle of Advil.
She did as the bottle said; take two and keep away from children.
Soon her headache went away!