Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Good Morning......friends.. "witchy's" flying again, headed home....
Have a save trip....

Mess with me, will ya!...

Seems to be a problem..Huh?

A butterfly with transparent wings is rare and beautiful. As delicate as finely blown glass. The translucent wings of the Glasswing butterfly shimmer in the sunlight like polished panes of turquoise, orange, green, and red. ~~thanks Diane~~

How can you turn down a face like that?


The brillant barrister F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver against claims that his negligence had caused injury to a young man's arm:

"Will you please show us how high you can lift your arm now?" Smith asked the plaintiff.

The young man obediently raised his arm to shoulder level, his face contorted with apparent pain.

"Thank you," said Smith.

"And now, please, will you show us how high you could lift it before the accident?"

The man's arm shot above his head.


When the antenna of my small television broke, I looked up the relevant part's number in the manual provided by the company and wrote to them asking for a replacement.

When the package arrived, I was furious to see that they had sent Part No 699 when I had actually asked them for No 669.

I shot off an angry missive to their Public Relations Dept.

Their reply: Turn it upside-down.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Good Morning.....Friends, neighbour's, and loves.......

Raggedy Ann ????

At $ 1.4 million bucks, me and "Witchy" can ride in style......

Digital camera's don't take good pics through a screen.........


A certain man's first day back at the office after his honeymoon was a difficult one.

He came home tired and hungry.

He sat down for supper with his new wife and dug right in, finishing in no time.

As he looked up from his plate, he noticed that he bride was crying.

"What's wrong, dear?" he asked.

"I spent hours slaving over our first dinner," she said, wiping away her tears, "and all you do is sit there and eat it!"


Know why Mexicans don't do bar-b-que ?

because the beans fall through the grill.

Know why Mexicans drive lowriders ??

It's so they can cruise and pick lettice at the same time...

Whats the differance between a teacup and a peacup?

You drink tea from a tea cup.

A pea cup is what 20 mexicans ride to work in.

Whats the difference between select and choose?

Select is when you pick one item out from a choice of many.

Choose are what a mexican wears on his feet.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Good morning......World.....

Some body's going to be in a heap of trouble................

Theys never know wheres I hides my BONE......

One powerful Wedgie............................


When my wife and I moved into our new home, we couldn't afford to gravel the driveway.

So every day after work, I tossed rocks from the lawn into the driveway.

But after two weeks of tossing rocks, I began to wonder where they all were coming from.

One day, I came home before my wife and was in the yard when her car pulled in the driveway.

She opened the car door and, before saying a word, picked up a rock and threw in on the lawn.

"Where are all these rocks coming from?" She said. "I've been tossing them out of the driveway for two weeks!"


Hillary is trying to convince people she is a hunter.

So she showed up wearing a beaver-pelt pantsuit.

She trying to convince voters that she is pro-gun.

C’mon, if she were really pro-gun, Bill would be dead.


When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.

But when a ten- year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

"I saw six men beating up my mother-in-law.

My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?'

I said 'No, Six should be enough."

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Good morning...friends....We had a couple thunder storms
last night..... The air is fresh and clean this morning.....

We see this often when throwing the Frisbee.....

Pretty Powerful picture...too much of this going on....

A real power nap.....

The good days...........right?


A father is in church with three of his young children, in- cluding his five year old daughter.

As was customary, he sat in the very front row so that the children could properly witness the service.

During this particular service, the minister was performing the baptism of a tiny infant.

The little five year old girl was taken by this, observing that he was saying something and pouring water over the infant's head.

With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl turned to her father and asked with all the innocence of a five year old...

"Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?"


The Internal Revenue Service said recently that a record number of Americans paid their taxes online this year.

The system still has a few bugs.

They haven't yet figured out a way to get the shirt off your back through the telephone wire.


This and that........

I've been counting calories for six months now.

I don't know about my figure but, my arithmetic's improving.

"You can learn many things from children.

How much patience you have, for instance."

"Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet." (Chinese Proverb)

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Good Morning........Friends and neighbors.....

An't that just Ducky?

" In the Jail house now, I'm in the jail house now".......

Taxi....Taxi cab..........


Stupid Question / Answers;

In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question -Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?

At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...Stupid Question:- Oh, my, you've become so big.

Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself..

When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive's just the money.

When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?Answer:-

No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..


A man was sitting at the breakfast table, reading the news paper, when his wife came up and smacked him along side the head.

"What was that for?" he says.

She said," That's for being a lousy lover." She walks away.

The man thinks on this and goes looking for his wife.

He finds her getting ready to take a shower, he smacks her on the rump with his paper.

She asks,"What was that for?"

He said; "For knowing the difference!"

Friday, April 25, 2008

Good Morning.....World......and Greensboro.

Seems to be an Echo in here..................

He's happy......

I thought this was pretty cool.......

Carol's newest paiting.......looks great, Carol.


One afternoon, Gus was watching his sons Arty, ten and Roy, eight, play Cowboys and Indians in the backyard.

"Are you guys having fun reliving the past?" he asked them.

Arty nodded and said, "Hey Dad, can you tell us what it was like to ride in a stagecoach when you were a little boy?"


I saw that my low-fuel light was on, so I stopped and got $20 worth of gas.

And when I was done, I saw that my low-fuel light was still on.


Q: What do you get when you mix Holy Water and Prune Juice?

A: A Religious Movement.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Good Morning.....World......

Day 2 of "witchy's" flight.....Nice landing.......

How about this one carol? Your just gotta buy more blue paint....


What can I say ??......

How far can I get with this rig?......"Missy"


Our granddaughter's Grade 2 class was asked to write about their personal heroes.

Her father was flattered to find out that she had chosen him. "Why did you pick me?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't spell Arnold Schwarzenegger," she said.


After she spent the entire dinner correcting my young son's table manners, I turned to my wife and said, "Will the training never end?"

"A boy's training never ends," she replied.

"He just marries and his wife gets the job. And, please, stop talking with food in your mouth."

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Well...Day one.. of "witchy's " walkabout........

Made it half way.....

Be careful.......

Berlins car crash sculpture...

Now....You talk about Lonely......I feel like this sometimes....

How about this background......"Carol?"


A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper.

A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon.

Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader: "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"

Moshe replied: "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find?

Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty.

So I switched to the Arab newspaper.

Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world.

The news is so much better!".


I decided to grow a beard, and within two weeks my chin was covered with a long stubble.

One day, crossing the street, I noticed that the driver of a car stopped at the walkway was an attractive young woman.

Our eyes met; hers grew wider as she leaned over to lock the passenger-side door.......

I went home and shaved.


Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant.

The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.

"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Hillary says.

The waiter nods.

"And the vegetable?" he asks.

"Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Good morning...You'll have to bear with me this morning.....
My mind is elsewere.......sorry.

I wounder If he got any responses....He probably votes too.

Damn....Is that you "Snowman?"

What can I say?

Wonder how many try outs he's had....


The lie detector;

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick.

His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day, John came home with another one of his unusual purchases.

It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was just about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son returned home from school.

Tommy was over 2 hours late.

'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?', they asked.

'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project' said Tommy.

The Robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

'Son, this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you went after school.'

'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.'

'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.

'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.

The Robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.

With lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied.

We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'

'I'm ashamed of you Son,' said John.

'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.'

The robot then walked around to John and delivered a roundhouse right that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha was bent double laughing, almost in tears.

Boy, did you ever ask for that one! And you can't be too mad with Tommy.

'After all, He is your son!'

The Robot immediately walked around to Marsha, and slapped her three times.


"My wife wanted one of those big-screen TVs for her birthday.

I just moved her chair closer to the one we already have."

Monday, April 21, 2008

Good Morning....My mind is in low gear this morning....

Now this is a man of color........

I wouldn't want to be in it's sights....

Nuff said.......................

Just what "Summer" needs to keep the head warm.


Risky Business......

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, was shocked when the woman's doctor said she had a heart condition that could kill her at any time.

She had to avoid stress, eat right, and never have sex again, or the strain might kill her.

They reluctantly tried to live by those rules but, over time, both got really horny, so the husband decided to sleep on the downstairs couch to prevent temptation.

For a few weeks, this arrangement worked; until one night, about 1 a.m., when they met each other on the stairs -- she coming down, he heading up.

"Honey, I have to confess," she said, her voice quavering.

"I was about to commit suicide."

"Glad to hear that, sweetie," he answered, "because I was just coming up to kill you!"



"This week Madonna announced that she's going to adopt a child from India.

She already has one from Africa.

When she heard about it, Angelina Jolie called Madonna and said, "I'll see your India and raise you a Thailand."

~Conan O'Brien

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Good morning.....To all my friends.....and "Missy"

Hey...we need a good mop around here......

This would make your butt tighten up........

as we used to would chew 16 penny nails in half.

I'm not getting in this.......

"Witchy" don't set in that seat.....

Steve a graduate geology student, taught a lab class that was made up primarily of women.

Being a bit of a chauvinist, Steve gave the students a special assignment: We would receive an extra five points on our grade if we baked something that represented a geological principle and Steve and his fellow grad students would enjoy the finished products.

Our protests turned to laughter a few days later when one Blonde woman placed a bag of freshly baked cookies on Steve's desk, smashed them into crumbs, looked Steve in the eye and said,

"There...... It's sand."


All the churches in our small town were definitely in sync.

On one side of the street, a sign advertised the minister's upcoming sermon.

"Love they neighbour."

Across the street, the other house of worship explained why:

"When your marriage is in trouble."


Statistics show that American workers work the first three hours of every day just to pay their taxes.

That must be why we can't get anything done in the morning.

In the morning, we're government workers!~~~

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Good Morning....Fast lane! Us in the slow lane are hanging on....

This was taken at the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor by my friend "Linsay"...

Now, this is a big Plane................................

There's no dust under my desk.....just my "Buds".

These cats, can just taste this bird......


When a fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people.

“Do you take children?” the man asked.
“No, sir,” replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit cards.”


A foolish man tells his wife to stop talking, but a wise man tells she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED


One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption ...

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD..

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY ..

Friday, April 18, 2008

Nice day ...People...I kinda upbeat bear with me....

I hope he don't slip....Could be hurtin....

Now..if witchy and I were to do this....would be something to see.

Pictures worth a thousand words...............

My Buddy, 'Pete' send me some pictures of these Albino deer.


During a family picnic, Marcie's two children, Emma, six and Elly eight, were eating watermelon.

Suddenly, Emma began to cry.

Marcie asked, "What's wrong?" Emma said, "I swallowed some watermelon seeds and I'm afraid a big watermelon is going to grow in my tummy.

"Before Marcie could say anything, Elly piped up, "Emma, the watermelon won't grow in your tummy....

It'll come out of your butt."


Ponder these........

It's amazing how many beautiful women walk into your life the week before you get married.

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian."

One taxpayer, who was employed by a pest control company, put down his occupation as "hired killer."

Father answering phone: No, this is not your dreamboat, this is her supply ship.