Saturday, March 31, 2007

Pervert rabbit...........

Its supposed to move,,so click on it....damn.

A couple quickies
A Newfie locked his keys in the car.
It took an hour to get his wife out.

A Redneck had his vasectomy done at Sears.
Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Getting a head start....

A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course.
Now just open your mouth and say moo."

Thursday, March 29, 2007


Subject: Aching tooth.
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.
Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It's $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like. ~~~

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Bird Watchers...

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said
"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself," she replied.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me....

A trucker came into 29 truck stop cafe and placed his order.
He said, "I want 3 flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.
What does he think this place is ... an auto parts store?"
"No", the cook said.
"Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.
"Ok, Ok!!!", said the blonde.
She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked,"What are the beans for Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!!"

Monday, March 26, 2007

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I have an open mind... it's just closed for repairs.

Joke of the day.....
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill.
After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news.
You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible.
How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor. "10?
10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Well...I guess no one has anything to say.....

Lets go fishing.......
Now the joke.....
After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall.
I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer,
I gave him the "Are you going to park there?" look.
His responding gestures were very complicated.
First he shook his head.
Next he pointed at me, then at the parking space and then at himself, his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned, raised his palms upward and shrugged.
Once I parked, I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space.
"You must be single," he replied.
"If you were married, you would've known that was the universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot.
I'm waiting for my wife.'"

Thursday, March 22, 2007

It's time.........

Well off to the hospital for my colonoscopy......Have you had yours??
Thanks Pete.....I thought you would help me out with the clean out cool-aid.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

4 Liters clean out cool-aid........

I think I need this, to kill the taste of the cleaning fluid........
Any body care to share ? {the cleaning cool-aid}
They give you flavor packs.....doesn't help.
Only way is to have it cold and chugh it down.
Now the joke for today.............

Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, and holding a staff.President Bush went up to the man and said, "Aren't you Moses?"
The man never answered but just kept staring straight ahead. Again the President said, "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just kept staring ahead, never answering the President. Bush pulled a Secret Service agent aside and pointing to the robed man asked him, "Doesn't that man look like Moses to you?" The Secret Service agent agreed.
"Well," said the President, "every time I say his name he just keeps staring straight ahead and refuses to speak. Watch!" Again the President yelled, "Moses!" and again the man stared ahead and didn't answer.
The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?"
The man leaned over and whispered back ."Yes, I am Moses. However, the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East where there is no oil."

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I'm not aging... I'm just ripening to perfection!

Gotta get that starter fixed........
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery.
The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by
a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand.
"We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here.
Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered.
"But she's a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.'
They are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Smith.
"In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Joke O the Day.....

A professional circus clown woke up one morning with a terrible crick in his neck.
He could hardly move, much less work, so he went to the doctor to see what was wrong.
After a complete physical, the doctor asked, "Did you go to bed in your clown makeup and costume last night?"
"Yes, I did," the clown answered.
"Well, I wouldn't worry about it.
You just slept funny." ~~~
Is this a groaner.... or what??

Happy St. Paddy's Day~~~~~~~~

Hey.....Everybody....Happy St. Paddy's day........
Don't waste your time lookin for the pot O' Gold.....I already got it.....

Friday, March 16, 2007

A nice rainy day....

Staying pretty close to not much to write about....

Joke of the day~~~~A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me.
I think I'm a moth.
"Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "The light was on..." ~~~

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Roy's off to Hollywood....

Roy's off to Hollywood......
Take pictures and we'll post some.
Have a good trip.


I've alway's had a soft spot for custom hot rods....
Growing up and working in a garage-gas station we always was working on our cars.....

Back again........

Well we're off .......start of a new blog...........
We're going to put alot of assorted things on this blog,
and hope family and friends will enjoy coming by.
We'll put pictures, jokes and comments on here.
Any family or friends want to post something, your
welcome to do so....☺